Anyone got an answer for that question? When my precious little one looks at me, as she is cuddled up in her bed, how do I respond to that?
~I have a few responses I could share, but I want to look deeper so that I may give her truth, not just what sounds good or what I've been taught, but God indeeds for me to share with her.
~It's not that God needs her daddy, but that God "ordains the days of our life" and knew when Ryan's life would be over. God has used Ryan's death, to glorify Him. This may be a difficult way to view the death of your loved one, but it's our chose to choose how you are going to look at your loss. I've made the choice to look at it this way because I TRUST and BELIEVE God loves us and that there is a purpose for ALL things that happen. It hurts, but I came to a realization that life is not about me, my kids, my family or friends. But we are here on this earth for one purpose... to honor, worship, and glorify our Father in heaven.
If you have any answers to share please do. Comment and let me know what your thoughts are... I'm gonna continue to search. But first I have to pick up my kids.
New family pics
We recently got some new family photos done. I can't wait to get the rest back. My friend Kirsten does an amazing job. This is another one of those things I've had to get used to. A family picture... that may sound weird, but the idea of us without "daddy," or "my man" in them took some adjusting for me. It always felt like a broken family. Maybe some of you understand what I mean? Do you? Or am I alone on this one? Anyhow, I have grown to realize this is my family!!! Perfect in God's eyes. And... I need to accept it. (Even if I don't like it) With time it has become easier which I am thankful for. Plus, I am grateful my 3 gorgeous blessings that God has given to me. So, here it is... The Campbell Family!
Yeah, for Changes!
I was thrilled to hear that Carnival Cruise Line, has made some positive improvements on board their ships! A friend of mine recently went on the same cruise line was on when he had his accident. She came back and informed me that there are now CAUTION signs and restriction areas posted and in place. You have no idea what joy that brought me to hear this news. I pray that with this new change that others will not EVER have to go through what we have gone through. It's a bummer someone had to die first before changes were made, but I'm glad that some good came out of this tragedy!
The Park
I had planned on writing this weeks ago, but failed to do so. But I think it's important to share because it was the perfect example of a typical day in life of a widow and children...
So, the other day the kids and I rode our bikes to the park. It was a gorgeous Friday afternoon. It's a park that near our home that we go to often, and normally is not very busy. But today was different. On this particular day there was families everywhere. By families I am referring to Moms & Dads with their children. At this small quiet neighborhood park there were couples everywhere with their children. This is a great thing...but tough to watch when that "use to be" my life!!! And it seemed they just kept coming. I didn't notice it at first, but then I saw my oldest off in the grass withdrawing herself from the situation. I went over to sit with her, asking if everything was alright. She sadly said, "No, you know what's wrong!" (Which meant she was thinking about her daddy. This is a common comment that she uses when frustrated and sad.) Then it hit me... WOW, we were the other family at the park that did not have both a mom and dad together. See that's the reality of our world. And it kills me that my precious baby noticed it, and remembered back to the days when we all (daddy included) would go to the park and play. Ryan was such an active, fun, energetic dad who played for hours with the kids.
I sat with my daughter talking and reminiscing of old times until she smiled and laughed, soon back playing with her siblings.
Then later that same day, my son came to me crying for no apparent reason. I picked him up on my lap and holding him. "What's the matter," I asked. He said, "why did daddy have to leave? I miss him so much!" OUCH! Once again I felt the pain he was feeling and desperately wished I could take away the pain. It is so heart wrenching for me at times when I am made aware of the fact that my kids DO NOT HAVE A DAD who is present and tangible in their lives. It's not that they don't have amazing family and friends who help out, but I am talking about having a DADDY to play at the park with, wrestle or play catch with. It can be a real bummer, to say the least.
I know I am not alone in this feeling. There are many others who feel this pain daily because of a loss of loved one, or maybe a broken relationship. In those moments when you feel so alone, call out to God for comfort and He will meet you where you are at if you let Him. That's what I always try to remember in the midst of these events. I know it is only with His strength and peace I will be able to make it through the many times we may face days like this.
So, the other day the kids and I rode our bikes to the park. It was a gorgeous Friday afternoon. It's a park that near our home that we go to often, and normally is not very busy. But today was different. On this particular day there was families everywhere. By families I am referring to Moms & Dads with their children. At this small quiet neighborhood park there were couples everywhere with their children. This is a great thing...but tough to watch when that "use to be" my life!!! And it seemed they just kept coming. I didn't notice it at first, but then I saw my oldest off in the grass withdrawing herself from the situation. I went over to sit with her, asking if everything was alright. She sadly said, "No, you know what's wrong!" (Which meant she was thinking about her daddy. This is a common comment that she uses when frustrated and sad.) Then it hit me... WOW, we were the other family at the park that did not have both a mom and dad together. See that's the reality of our world. And it kills me that my precious baby noticed it, and remembered back to the days when we all (daddy included) would go to the park and play. Ryan was such an active, fun, energetic dad who played for hours with the kids.
I sat with my daughter talking and reminiscing of old times until she smiled and laughed, soon back playing with her siblings.
Then later that same day, my son came to me crying for no apparent reason. I picked him up on my lap and holding him. "What's the matter," I asked. He said, "why did daddy have to leave? I miss him so much!" OUCH! Once again I felt the pain he was feeling and desperately wished I could take away the pain. It is so heart wrenching for me at times when I am made aware of the fact that my kids DO NOT HAVE A DAD who is present and tangible in their lives. It's not that they don't have amazing family and friends who help out, but I am talking about having a DADDY to play at the park with, wrestle or play catch with. It can be a real bummer, to say the least.
I know I am not alone in this feeling. There are many others who feel this pain daily because of a loss of loved one, or maybe a broken relationship. In those moments when you feel so alone, call out to God for comfort and He will meet you where you are at if you let Him. That's what I always try to remember in the midst of these events. I know it is only with His strength and peace I will be able to make it through the many times we may face days like this.
Keepin on Shootin
This weekend we ventured down to our old stomping ground to visit friends and family. It was a quick trip, but fun and full of good times. We stayed with our sweet friends the Vaughans. Shauna got up and made us her deliciously Divine chocolate chips scones. Yummy! Justin then blessed me with taking my son with him off to the archery shoot. See, Ryan's grandpa help start the Siskiyou Bowmen MANY years ago. Now... my brother-in-law is the president of the club. And we love to come down and take advantage of one the greatest family sports. ARCHERY! It's a Campbell thing... which I (being the "city girl") have learned to love and appreciate. Since hunting was such a big part of Ryan's life I desperately want to teach and expose my kids as much as I can. I, personally don't hunt. But I'll cheer on those who do! Thankfully God's placed many people in our life that help teach and practice the art of archery. Cuz, we all know that's not my gift...
To watch my kids light up when we go out to shoot our bows, gives me such joy. I know Ry would be lovin it too!!! The kids remember goin huntin with daddy. So, when we go out and shoot with Grandpa Ron, Uncle Denny, or cousin Jeff the kids just love it, cuz it brings back those memories and we're making new ones too.
I think it's important to carry on some of those special hobbies that our loved ones enjoyed so much. To me, it keeps their memory alive...plus it brings joy to know that we're enjoying something daddy loved to do too. Which tells the kids, "hey, I'm like my daddy!" Anyways, it was a great day! And I thought I'd share it with you.
To watch my kids light up when we go out to shoot our bows, gives me such joy. I know Ry would be lovin it too!!! The kids remember goin huntin with daddy. So, when we go out and shoot with Grandpa Ron, Uncle Denny, or cousin Jeff the kids just love it, cuz it brings back those memories and we're making new ones too.
I think it's important to carry on some of those special hobbies that our loved ones enjoyed so much. To me, it keeps their memory alive...plus it brings joy to know that we're enjoying something daddy loved to do too. Which tells the kids, "hey, I'm like my daddy!" Anyways, it was a great day! And I thought I'd share it with you.
How do I help my children cope?
Ok, it's been forever since I've written. I want to make this a weekly goal, but as most of you with children know... A LOT happens in a week and how do you some it up?
First of all, I can't begin to tell you what a blessing it is to see/read that I'm not alone in this desire to connect and find others who may be struggling with the same issues that go on in my heart, my home, and with my children. In the first few days of beginning this blog (and making a note about it on Facebook), God gave me the opportunity to connect with 2 more widows. It was so reaffirming to me that I did the right thing. That may sound weird, but opening up and putting myself out there can be difficult... but instead of feeling insecure, I instantly I was encouraged by your comments. Thank you!!
Last week I had a sweet young woman who lost her husband during the holidays ask me, "how do help your children cope?" Great question!! I still deal with that daily. It's not that life has not moved forward. Because we have. But that DOES NOT take away from the fact that we miss Ryan very much! It goes in waves, good days (or even weeks) to bad days (and weeks)! Or it may be just a moment of emotions that sweep over you or the kids. A certain smell, a song,a picture... I think you the idea.
So, I want to ask this question to you. "HOW DO YOU HELP YOUR CHILDREN COPE, WHEN YOU YOURSELF ARE STRUGGLING?"
A: I can give you few of the things we've done.
1) When they're sad and miss seeing his face: We have a video (slideshow) that was made for Ryan service. The kids love to watch that a remember what their daddy looked like... when he was little & big. Of course, it normally brings up tears, but it also is healing to keep their memories alive.
2)When they're angry: We like to have a pillow fight with the furniture! I remember one time when my son was really having a rough day (this was shortly after his daddy's death.) We went into the living room, I shared how I was really angry too. I said, "I'm mad, why did daddy have to die? It's not fair!" And I began hitting the couch. Tate soon began to share his frustrations to. The girls soon joined in as well. But by the end of this we were laughing and having fun. It's great to release the tension we all build up inside us!!
3) When we don't understand: The #1 thing we can do when we feel lost and confused is GO TO the LORD! We will never understand or have the answers we want here on earth. I have found so much comfort in reading God's Word! It is in Him we will draw strength, find peace, joy, and hope.
Romans 15:13
I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit.
These are just a few things that have helped in our home. I've been making a list of verses that have been helpful and encouraging to me. I'll post those a little later.
One last thing that has been helpful for me and the kids is to be open about how we are feeling. God amazes me with the encouragement I find through the lives of my children. They are a true blessing and gift to me. God uses them to show His love and faithfulness to our family!
Speaking of children... I better be off to check on them. Last time I worked on the computer too long my son(5) cut off my daughter's (3)hair!! Boy, was that a day to remember!
I pray you have blessed week. I know this week may be tough with the holidays and all, but remember God loves you and He delights in you! He will not let you go!
Song of Solomon 7:10
"I am my lover’s,
and he claims me as his own." (NLT)
First of all, I can't begin to tell you what a blessing it is to see/read that I'm not alone in this desire to connect and find others who may be struggling with the same issues that go on in my heart, my home, and with my children. In the first few days of beginning this blog (and making a note about it on Facebook), God gave me the opportunity to connect with 2 more widows. It was so reaffirming to me that I did the right thing. That may sound weird, but opening up and putting myself out there can be difficult... but instead of feeling insecure, I instantly I was encouraged by your comments. Thank you!!
Last week I had a sweet young woman who lost her husband during the holidays ask me, "how do help your children cope?" Great question!! I still deal with that daily. It's not that life has not moved forward. Because we have. But that DOES NOT take away from the fact that we miss Ryan very much! It goes in waves, good days (or even weeks) to bad days (and weeks)! Or it may be just a moment of emotions that sweep over you or the kids. A certain smell, a song,a picture... I think you the idea.
So, I want to ask this question to you. "HOW DO YOU HELP YOUR CHILDREN COPE, WHEN YOU YOURSELF ARE STRUGGLING?"
A: I can give you few of the things we've done.
1) When they're sad and miss seeing his face: We have a video (slideshow) that was made for Ryan service. The kids love to watch that a remember what their daddy looked like... when he was little & big. Of course, it normally brings up tears, but it also is healing to keep their memories alive.
2)When they're angry: We like to have a pillow fight with the furniture! I remember one time when my son was really having a rough day (this was shortly after his daddy's death.) We went into the living room, I shared how I was really angry too. I said, "I'm mad, why did daddy have to die? It's not fair!" And I began hitting the couch. Tate soon began to share his frustrations to. The girls soon joined in as well. But by the end of this we were laughing and having fun. It's great to release the tension we all build up inside us!!
3) When we don't understand: The #1 thing we can do when we feel lost and confused is GO TO the LORD! We will never understand or have the answers we want here on earth. I have found so much comfort in reading God's Word! It is in Him we will draw strength, find peace, joy, and hope.
Romans 15:13
I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit.
These are just a few things that have helped in our home. I've been making a list of verses that have been helpful and encouraging to me. I'll post those a little later.
One last thing that has been helpful for me and the kids is to be open about how we are feeling. God amazes me with the encouragement I find through the lives of my children. They are a true blessing and gift to me. God uses them to show His love and faithfulness to our family!
Speaking of children... I better be off to check on them. Last time I worked on the computer too long my son(5) cut off my daughter's (3)hair!! Boy, was that a day to remember!
I pray you have blessed week. I know this week may be tough with the holidays and all, but remember God loves you and He delights in you! He will not let you go!
Song of Solomon 7:10
"I am my lover’s,
and he claims me as his own." (NLT)
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