How the 9/11 Anniversary Effects Our Family...

So tonight I sat down to watch a little T.V. and found myself watching "Children of 9/11". Within minutes I was crying, as I listened to this sweet children share their story of how their lives were affected by 9/11. How they lost their daddy on that tragic day. The invites that took place in America on September 11, 2001 were absolutely horrific and I'm still saddened for those who are living life without their loved ones.

But for me, September 11, 2001 was one of the best days of my life! After 21 hours of labor, God blessed our family with our first born daughter. It was day to rejoice and celebrate. I remember calling a family member to share our exciting news, only to hear of the terror and sadness that had just occured in our country. We sat SHOCKED and SPEECHLESS! In that moment, I lay in bed holding my beautiful newborn child, in awe of God's blessing of life. While on the other side of the country, thousands of people were mourning the loss of their child, spouse, parent or friends.

Remember the song, "Blessed Be Your Name"? Well, it was a pretty popular song during that time and I fondly remember Ryan singing that song to/with our daughter in her first years of life. It was their special song. They would belt it out while driving in the car around town. :) The lyrics that always got me was the line that goes...

"You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, blessed be Your name"

For me that line broke my heart thinking how God blessed us with our daughter on a day in which so many others lost. Yet through it all, God is still good.

The irony came years later, when God took Ryan home. What would we do then?? Would we still bless His name? I have a new way to look at that song. Ans yes, God is still good, even when He takes away.

This week in the grocery stores we saw People magazine, my oldest "Lil Miss" asked me about why did they write a story on those kids? Is 9/11 there birthday too? And they lost their daddy's? It made me sad, thinking of how my daughter shares an understanding with these children in a unique way. She knows their pain and longing for her their dad, much like she longs for the day she will see her daddy in heaven.

Tears streamed down my face as I listened to the children of 9/11 share their story. I hurt for them and their loss. But then I remembered a verse God gave me recently (well actually one He gave me again, cuz I need reminders)
Psalm 10:14
"But you, God, see the trouble of the afflicted; you consider their grief and take it in hand. The victims commit themselves to you; you are the helper of the fatherless."

It's nice to be have that peace and assurance that God will fill in the gaps. He will be the helper I need. Or He will provide that perfect someone to help and be there. I love knowing and trusting God's got my kids back and the backs of countless fatherless children.

Finding peace in His Word

Proverbs 12:18
Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. (NIV)

Tell Your Story...

Last week my family was given the great privilege of going to the most amazing Christian Retreat Conference Center, Mount Hermon Family Camp, in the Santa Cruz Mountains. There, we enjoyed time together as a family, but also God used this spectacular place to remind me of what God has called each of us to do... "Tell Your Story." Every one of us has one. It's special, unique and different from everyone else. Often times our story can help others, who might be going through a similar struggle. The willingness to step out of ourselves, our fears and failures, and allow God to use those weaknesses, will ultimately bring you joy because you realize you are not alone!

So I challenge you, (and I'm challenging myself too) to step up, step out,& share your story, your life with those around you. You never know... what kind of blessings or amazing new friendships that await you...

Season's change & so do we.

There is joy in learning to accept the changes that come with each passing season. I am learning to search for the treasures that await us each new day. And anticipate God's blessing as we walk through life.

Time does heal.

December 2nd marked 3yrs since Ryan's accident. Crazy, huh? For me, this was the day stood out most. It was the day I received the phone call everyone prays you never get. It was the day that changed our lives forever! I used to think that every year would be hard, and that I'd have to replay everything all over again. But thankfully that is not the case. PRAISE GOD FOR THAT!!! People have always told me, time will heal the pain, and it will get easier. But when you are in a place where it hurts so bad, it's hard to believe that will ever happen. I'm not saying I've forgotten or don't care. It was just so nice to wake up on Dec. 1st and while I was thinking about my week it just dawned on me... what the date was. There wasn't that prep work that has happened in years past. (Two weeks before any anniversary I would start getting sad and anxious, thinking about everything. Missing Ry tons.) By God's grace and love He slowly mends our hearts. I miss Ryan like crazy, but it's a different kind of miss now. I know there will still be difficult days and today it feels good to be OKAY. I think it also has to do with the amazing amount of love, support and encouragement that my family recieves from those around us. God uses His body of believers to lift up and encourage one another. I love that!!

Facebook has been such a great avenue for me to stay connected with friends and family. Plus, I've made new friends so well. Today, I was blessed like crazy from all the words of affirmation my friends wrote. But it stumps me when people say they are amazed by my strength. WHAT STRENGTH????? I've got nothing on my own. I am terribly weak. IT IS BY HIS STRENGTH WE ARE MADE STRONG, NOT BY OUR OWN.