Time does heal.

December 2nd marked 3yrs since Ryan's accident. Crazy, huh? For me, this was the day stood out most. It was the day I received the phone call everyone prays you never get. It was the day that changed our lives forever! I used to think that every year would be hard, and that I'd have to replay everything all over again. But thankfully that is not the case. PRAISE GOD FOR THAT!!! People have always told me, time will heal the pain, and it will get easier. But when you are in a place where it hurts so bad, it's hard to believe that will ever happen. I'm not saying I've forgotten or don't care. It was just so nice to wake up on Dec. 1st and while I was thinking about my week it just dawned on me... what the date was. There wasn't that prep work that has happened in years past. (Two weeks before any anniversary I would start getting sad and anxious, thinking about everything. Missing Ry tons.) By God's grace and love He slowly mends our hearts. I miss Ryan like crazy, but it's a different kind of miss now. I know there will still be difficult days and today it feels good to be OKAY. I think it also has to do with the amazing amount of love, support and encouragement that my family recieves from those around us. God uses His body of believers to lift up and encourage one another. I love that!!

Facebook has been such a great avenue for me to stay connected with friends and family. Plus, I've made new friends so well. Today, I was blessed like crazy from all the words of affirmation my friends wrote. But it stumps me when people say they are amazed by my strength. WHAT STRENGTH????? I've got nothing on my own. I am terribly weak. IT IS BY HIS STRENGTH WE ARE MADE STRONG, NOT BY OUR OWN.

Thankful Heart

This summer God opened up an opportunity to join a new bible study group at my friends home. These women have been such an amazing blessing to me, the studies have challenged me to grow in new and exciting ways, and I look forward to being there every week. This fall we're doing a Priscilla Shirer study, "Discerning the Voice of God." (if you haven't done one of her studies, you should, they are great!!!!) I'm loving it.

My biggest prayer when Ryan died was that God would show me the purpose and plan He has my life as a widow. Whatever that is suppose to look like and for however long that is.
So this study has been good for me to practice and learn how to better Hear God's voice. He has once again tugged at my heart and given the opportunity to connect other other widows who recently lost their spouse. My prayer is that God would give me the words to comfort them and bring them His hope.

I am so thankful for the people God has placed in my life, to speak His truths to me. God is good, even when bad things happen. And most of the time it is in those times God reveals Himself in miraculous ways. We serve an AWESOME GOD!!!!!!

We've had fun swimming, which my kids favorite thing to do! Went to Medieval Times, the Grove & the American Girl Store, plus, got to spend time with some terrific friends here in Valencia. It's been a blast!

Time in So. Cal

It has once again been forever since I've updated my blog. Summer is coming to a close and we have had a blast. Enjoying the sun, the pool, camping trips with family, and time with friends. Hey is a few pics of our trip in Cali, visiting the Kostjuks. I am so thankful for my long time friendship with Ashley. We have been thru so much together and grown closer through each passing year. It's fun to watch our kids play together and connect again...

It's been forever...

I haven't written in so long. I just logged in and realized I have multiple saved drafts that seem so silly to post cuz there so old. My summer goal is to write at least once a week!! Let's see how I do?

"Mommy, why does God need Daddy?"

Anyone got an answer for that question? When my precious little one looks at me, as she is cuddled up in her bed, how do I respond to that?

~I have a few responses I could share, but I want to look deeper so that I may give her truth, not just what sounds good or what I've been taught, but God indeeds for me to share with her.

~It's not that God needs her daddy, but that God "ordains the days of our life" and knew when Ryan's life would be over. God has used Ryan's death, to glorify Him. This may be a difficult way to view the death of your loved one, but it's our chose to choose how you are going to look at your loss. I've made the choice to look at it this way because I TRUST and BELIEVE God loves us and that there is a purpose for ALL things that happen. It hurts, but I came to a realization that life is not about me, my kids, my family or friends. But we are here on this earth for one purpose... to honor, worship, and glorify our Father in heaven.

If you have any answers to share please do. Comment and let me know what your thoughts are... I'm gonna continue to search. But first I have to pick up my kids.

When I stand before God at the end of my life I would hope that I would have not a single bit of talent left and could say, "I used everything you gave me." ~ Erma Bombeck