This weekend we ventured down to our old stomping ground to visit friends and family. It was a quick trip, but fun and full of good times. We stayed with our sweet friends the Vaughans. Shauna got up and made us her deliciously Divine chocolate chips scones. Yummy! Justin then blessed me with taking my son with him off to the archery shoot. See, Ryan's grandpa help start the Siskiyou Bowmen MANY years ago. Now... my brother-in-law is the president of the club. And we love to come down and take advantage of one the greatest family sports. ARCHERY! It's a Campbell thing... which I (being the "city girl") have learned to love and appreciate. Since hunting was such a big part of Ryan's life I desperately want to teach and expose my kids as much as I can. I, personally don't hunt. But I'll cheer on those who do! Thankfully God's placed many people in our life that help teach and practice the art of archery. Cuz, we all know that's not my gift...
To watch my kids light up when we go out to shoot our bows, gives me such joy. I know Ry would be lovin it too!!! The kids remember goin huntin with daddy. So, when we go out and shoot with Grandpa Ron, Uncle Denny, or cousin Jeff the kids just love it, cuz it brings back those memories and we're making new ones too.
I think it's important to carry on some of those special hobbies that our loved ones enjoyed so much. To me, it keeps their memory alive...plus it brings joy to know that we're enjoying something daddy loved to do too. Which tells the kids, "hey, I'm like my daddy!" Anyways, it was a great day! And I thought I'd share it with you.
How do I help my children cope?
Ok, it's been forever since I've written. I want to make this a weekly goal, but as most of you with children know... A LOT happens in a week and how do you some it up?
First of all, I can't begin to tell you what a blessing it is to see/read that I'm not alone in this desire to connect and find others who may be struggling with the same issues that go on in my heart, my home, and with my children. In the first few days of beginning this blog (and making a note about it on Facebook), God gave me the opportunity to connect with 2 more widows. It was so reaffirming to me that I did the right thing. That may sound weird, but opening up and putting myself out there can be difficult... but instead of feeling insecure, I instantly I was encouraged by your comments. Thank you!!
Last week I had a sweet young woman who lost her husband during the holidays ask me, "how do help your children cope?" Great question!! I still deal with that daily. It's not that life has not moved forward. Because we have. But that DOES NOT take away from the fact that we miss Ryan very much! It goes in waves, good days (or even weeks) to bad days (and weeks)! Or it may be just a moment of emotions that sweep over you or the kids. A certain smell, a song,a picture... I think you the idea.
So, I want to ask this question to you. "HOW DO YOU HELP YOUR CHILDREN COPE, WHEN YOU YOURSELF ARE STRUGGLING?"
A: I can give you few of the things we've done.
1) When they're sad and miss seeing his face: We have a video (slideshow) that was made for Ryan service. The kids love to watch that a remember what their daddy looked like... when he was little & big. Of course, it normally brings up tears, but it also is healing to keep their memories alive.
2)When they're angry: We like to have a pillow fight with the furniture! I remember one time when my son was really having a rough day (this was shortly after his daddy's death.) We went into the living room, I shared how I was really angry too. I said, "I'm mad, why did daddy have to die? It's not fair!" And I began hitting the couch. Tate soon began to share his frustrations to. The girls soon joined in as well. But by the end of this we were laughing and having fun. It's great to release the tension we all build up inside us!!
3) When we don't understand: The #1 thing we can do when we feel lost and confused is GO TO the LORD! We will never understand or have the answers we want here on earth. I have found so much comfort in reading God's Word! It is in Him we will draw strength, find peace, joy, and hope.
Romans 15:13
I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit.
These are just a few things that have helped in our home. I've been making a list of verses that have been helpful and encouraging to me. I'll post those a little later.
One last thing that has been helpful for me and the kids is to be open about how we are feeling. God amazes me with the encouragement I find through the lives of my children. They are a true blessing and gift to me. God uses them to show His love and faithfulness to our family!
Speaking of children... I better be off to check on them. Last time I worked on the computer too long my son(5) cut off my daughter's (3)hair!! Boy, was that a day to remember!
I pray you have blessed week. I know this week may be tough with the holidays and all, but remember God loves you and He delights in you! He will not let you go!
Song of Solomon 7:10
"I am my lover’s,
and he claims me as his own." (NLT)
First of all, I can't begin to tell you what a blessing it is to see/read that I'm not alone in this desire to connect and find others who may be struggling with the same issues that go on in my heart, my home, and with my children. In the first few days of beginning this blog (and making a note about it on Facebook), God gave me the opportunity to connect with 2 more widows. It was so reaffirming to me that I did the right thing. That may sound weird, but opening up and putting myself out there can be difficult... but instead of feeling insecure, I instantly I was encouraged by your comments. Thank you!!
Last week I had a sweet young woman who lost her husband during the holidays ask me, "how do help your children cope?" Great question!! I still deal with that daily. It's not that life has not moved forward. Because we have. But that DOES NOT take away from the fact that we miss Ryan very much! It goes in waves, good days (or even weeks) to bad days (and weeks)! Or it may be just a moment of emotions that sweep over you or the kids. A certain smell, a song,a picture... I think you the idea.
So, I want to ask this question to you. "HOW DO YOU HELP YOUR CHILDREN COPE, WHEN YOU YOURSELF ARE STRUGGLING?"
A: I can give you few of the things we've done.
1) When they're sad and miss seeing his face: We have a video (slideshow) that was made for Ryan service. The kids love to watch that a remember what their daddy looked like... when he was little & big. Of course, it normally brings up tears, but it also is healing to keep their memories alive.
2)When they're angry: We like to have a pillow fight with the furniture! I remember one time when my son was really having a rough day (this was shortly after his daddy's death.) We went into the living room, I shared how I was really angry too. I said, "I'm mad, why did daddy have to die? It's not fair!" And I began hitting the couch. Tate soon began to share his frustrations to. The girls soon joined in as well. But by the end of this we were laughing and having fun. It's great to release the tension we all build up inside us!!
3) When we don't understand: The #1 thing we can do when we feel lost and confused is GO TO the LORD! We will never understand or have the answers we want here on earth. I have found so much comfort in reading God's Word! It is in Him we will draw strength, find peace, joy, and hope.
Romans 15:13
I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit.
These are just a few things that have helped in our home. I've been making a list of verses that have been helpful and encouraging to me. I'll post those a little later.
One last thing that has been helpful for me and the kids is to be open about how we are feeling. God amazes me with the encouragement I find through the lives of my children. They are a true blessing and gift to me. God uses them to show His love and faithfulness to our family!
Speaking of children... I better be off to check on them. Last time I worked on the computer too long my son(5) cut off my daughter's (3)hair!! Boy, was that a day to remember!
I pray you have blessed week. I know this week may be tough with the holidays and all, but remember God loves you and He delights in you! He will not let you go!
Song of Solomon 7:10
"I am my lover’s,
and he claims me as his own." (NLT)
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