Time in So. Cal

It has once again been forever since I've updated my blog. Summer is coming to a close and we have had a blast. Enjoying the sun, the pool, camping trips with family, and time with friends. Hey is a few pics of our trip in Cali, visiting the Kostjuks. I am so thankful for my long time friendship with Ashley. We have been thru so much together and grown closer through each passing year. It's fun to watch our kids play together and connect again...

It's been forever...

I haven't written in so long. I just logged in and realized I have multiple saved drafts that seem so silly to post cuz there so old. My summer goal is to write at least once a week!! Let's see how I do?

"Mommy, why does God need Daddy?"

Anyone got an answer for that question? When my precious little one looks at me, as she is cuddled up in her bed, how do I respond to that?

~I have a few responses I could share, but I want to look deeper so that I may give her truth, not just what sounds good or what I've been taught, but God indeeds for me to share with her.

~It's not that God needs her daddy, but that God "ordains the days of our life" and knew when Ryan's life would be over. God has used Ryan's death, to glorify Him. This may be a difficult way to view the death of your loved one, but it's our chose to choose how you are going to look at your loss. I've made the choice to look at it this way because I TRUST and BELIEVE God loves us and that there is a purpose for ALL things that happen. It hurts, but I came to a realization that life is not about me, my kids, my family or friends. But we are here on this earth for one purpose... to honor, worship, and glorify our Father in heaven.

If you have any answers to share please do. Comment and let me know what your thoughts are... I'm gonna continue to search. But first I have to pick up my kids.

When I stand before God at the end of my life I would hope that I would have not a single bit of talent left and could say, "I used everything you gave me." ~ Erma Bombeck

New family pics

We recently got some new family photos done. I can't wait to get the rest back. My friend Kirsten does an amazing job. This is another one of those things I've had to get used to. A family picture... that may sound weird, but the idea of us without "daddy," or "my man" in them took some adjusting for me. It always felt like a broken family. Maybe some of you understand what I mean? Do you? Or am I alone on this one? Anyhow, I have grown to realize this is my family!!! Perfect in God's eyes. And... I need to accept it. (Even if I don't like it) With time it has become easier which I am thankful for. Plus, I am grateful my 3 gorgeous blessings that God has given to me. So, here it is... The Campbell Family!

Yeah, for Changes!

I was thrilled to hear that Carnival Cruise Line, has made some positive improvements on board their ships! A friend of mine recently went on the same cruise line was on when he had his accident. She came back and informed me that there are now CAUTION signs and restriction areas posted and in place. You have no idea what joy that brought me to hear this news. I pray that with this new change that others will not EVER have to go through what we have gone through. It's a bummer someone had to die first before changes were made, but I'm glad that some good came out of this tragedy!

The Park

I had planned on writing this weeks ago, but failed to do so. But I think it's important to share because it was the perfect example of a typical day in life of a widow and children...
So, the other day the kids and I rode our bikes to the park. It was a gorgeous Friday afternoon. It's a park that near our home that we go to often, and normally is not very busy. But today was different. On this particular day there was families everywhere. By families I am referring to Moms & Dads with their children. At this small quiet neighborhood park there were couples everywhere with their children. This is a great thing...but tough to watch when that "use to be" my life!!! And it seemed they just kept coming. I didn't notice it at first, but then I saw my oldest off in the grass withdrawing herself from the situation. I went over to sit with her, asking if everything was alright. She sadly said, "No, you know what's wrong!" (Which meant she was thinking about her daddy. This is a common comment that she uses when frustrated and sad.) Then it hit me... WOW, we were the other family at the park that did not have both a mom and dad together. See that's the reality of our world. And it kills me that my precious baby noticed it, and remembered back to the days when we all (daddy included) would go to the park and play. Ryan was such an active, fun, energetic dad who played for hours with the kids.
I sat with my daughter talking and reminiscing of old times until she smiled and laughed, soon back playing with her siblings.

Then later that same day, my son came to me crying for no apparent reason. I picked him up on my lap and holding him. "What's the matter," I asked. He said, "why did daddy have to leave? I miss him so much!" OUCH! Once again I felt the pain he was feeling and desperately wished I could take away the pain. It is so heart wrenching for me at times when I am made aware of the fact that my kids DO NOT HAVE A DAD who is present and tangible in their lives. It's not that they don't have amazing family and friends who help out, but I am talking about having a DADDY to play at the park with, wrestle or play catch with. It can be a real bummer, to say the least.

I know I am not alone in this feeling. There are many others who feel this pain daily because of a loss of loved one, or maybe a broken relationship. In those moments when you feel so alone, call out to God for comfort and He will meet you where you are at if you let Him. That's what I always try to remember in the midst of these events. I know it is only with His strength and peace I will be able to make it through the many times we may face days like this.