"I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit. " Romans 15:13

How do I help my children cope?

Ok, it's been forever since I've written. I want to make this a weekly goal, but as most of you with children know... A LOT happens in a week and how do you some it up?

First of all, I can't begin to tell you what a blessing it is to see/read that I'm not alone in this desire to connect and find others who may be struggling with the same issues that go on in my heart, my home, and with my children. In the first few days of beginning this blog (and making a note about it on Facebook), God gave me the opportunity to connect with 2 more widows. It was so reaffirming to me that I did the right thing. That may sound weird, but opening up and putting myself out there can be difficult... but instead of feeling insecure, I instantly I was encouraged by your comments. Thank you!!

Last week I had a sweet young woman who lost her husband during the holidays ask me, "how do help your children cope?" Great question!! I still deal with that daily. It's not that life has not moved forward. Because we have. But that DOES NOT take away from the fact that we miss Ryan very much! It goes in waves, good days (or even weeks) to bad days (and weeks)! Or it may be just a moment of emotions that sweep over you or the kids. A certain smell, a song,a picture... I think you the idea.

A: I can give you few of the things we've done.
1) When they're sad and miss seeing his face: We have a video (slideshow) that was made for Ryan service. The kids love to watch that a remember what their daddy looked like... when he was little & big. Of course, it normally brings up tears, but it also is healing to keep their memories alive.
2)When they're angry: We like to have a pillow fight with the furniture! I remember one time when my son was really having a rough day (this was shortly after his daddy's death.) We went into the living room, I shared how I was really angry too. I said, "I'm mad, why did daddy have to die? It's not fair!" And I began hitting the couch. Tate soon began to share his frustrations to. The girls soon joined in as well. But by the end of this we were laughing and having fun. It's great to release the tension we all build up inside us!!
3) When we don't understand: The #1 thing we can do when we feel lost and confused is GO TO the LORD! We will never understand or have the answers we want here on earth. I have found so much comfort in reading God's Word! It is in Him we will draw strength, find peace, joy, and hope.
Romans 15:13
I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit.

These are just a few things that have helped in our home. I've been making a list of verses that have been helpful and encouraging to me. I'll post those a little later.
One last thing that has been helpful for me and the kids is to be open about how we are feeling. God amazes me with the encouragement I find through the lives of my children. They are a true blessing and gift to me. God uses them to show His love and faithfulness to our family!

Speaking of children... I better be off to check on them. Last time I worked on the computer too long my son(5) cut off my daughter's (3)hair!! Boy, was that a day to remember!

I pray you have blessed week. I know this week may be tough with the holidays and all, but remember God loves you and He delights in you! He will not let you go!
Song of Solomon 7:10
"I am my lover’s,
and he claims me as his own." (NLT)


  1. Wow - I had chills through the whole post. Even though I know some of these things it just touched me to see God carry you through and give you wisdom. Please keep posting! People only IN the situation know and can give such rich encouragement and advice!

  2. Sha, thank you for being such a faithful friend to me! I may not have ever followed through with this if it wasn't for you gentle encouragement! I love you my friend!

  3. I've been a 'follower' of your new blog since inception, but wasn't notified of this post! :( i wonder why. anyway, glad to see you're writing! as soon as i find my friend, renee's email address, i'll let her know about it too. I KNOW it will lift her up. Praise God!!!!!!

  4. Thanks for your comments. Sometime its hard to know how to help my kids deal with death. My little guys and I put together little photo albums for each of them. We get them out and look at them when were feeling sad or just missing dad. My teenagers handle it differently they stay busy all the time. Anyway thanks for just being here in the airways.